study hard for this althuogh limited time

start again for my target, in between my holidays fill  study speaks english or study again  score my toefl increase, although difficult for me, because my time is divided among my study, work in school and university,sometimes so tired and feel bored in my conditions because repeated conditions, really i miss the wild but i cannot because i must i have to prepare my thesis to graduated my study, i feel sorry to my self,  its too late study english, sometimes feel sad with my conditions cannot english because new seriously study english, if from the fisrt may be i cannot feel sad, and can my hold in my purpose, at this time my difficult in english about grammar, and listening, pronountion, i often follows test toefl in internet or course english, my score fluctuation, sometimes four hunderd twenty sometimes again four hundred fifty, my according its number so small, but im trying again for increase my score toefl, although difficult for me, but make efforts for my purpose, english is language word, so we must speak englisk if you wanna carier reached, this is one way i study english, write abuot my heart in english, besides listening music or speaking in internet,or tc, never before problems in my life, really tired but stand up straight for my life, life cycle when change, one of my dream come late, i dont now what must do for this my dream, only wait, wait,wait. i now rules of theories but i cannot at this my condition now, only be patient, and reach solution for this problems in my life, only Allah answer my du'a, may Allah feel my heart, in my self that can strong receive this problem...may Allah brought as soon as.... keep spirit, keep  smile, always friendly to everyone....hopefully the benefit of my life for fellow human beings....amin ^_^